no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
