dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
