Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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