sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
