Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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