This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
