Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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