"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
look no pants
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
