Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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