Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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