Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Randomize
