Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I look better un-naked...
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
vagina is talking i cant
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
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