this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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