guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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