He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
my being single is dangerous.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
