I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
