i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
