i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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