through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
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This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
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I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
how does that bad decision feel?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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