it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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