My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
