I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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