ya dads aren't the best wingmen
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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