but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Randomize
