How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
