how can u be prego again
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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