Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
