it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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