can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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