my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize