i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
