I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
