we're chasing vodka with high fives
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
