I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize