I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
