when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
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