is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
