At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize