Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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