I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize