her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
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