if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
you never un-have a 4some
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
