After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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