I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
