bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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