It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
