Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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