i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
