at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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