One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
