Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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