After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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