we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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