i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Randomize
