Got a toothbrush?
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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