So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
