Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
