eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
