Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
