Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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