I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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