sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Randomize
