Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
is this the sara with the beer cane?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
