My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
